What to Expect from a Newborn in the First Month

Giving Birth: A Magical Experience?

Birth is often said to be a magical experience. For me, it wasn’t. My beautiful baby girl is certainly magical, but the process itself was long and painful, even a little traumatic. I went into labor with an optimistic outlook, believing that pain was mostly in the mind. I quickly realized it was very much in the body.

Everything started well. I was 40 weeks and two days pregnant, and at my check-up that day I was already slightly dilated. The doctor said labor could begin at any time. Frankly, I couldn’t wait; the last few weeks of pregnancy had been tedious. That night, as I slept, I felt something wet running down my legs. Excitedly, I told my husband that my water had broken, and we quickly went to the hospital. Thankfully, everything was ready. At the hospital, I was four centimeters dilated, and things seemed to be progressing nicely—or so I thought. I went through the routine admission procedures and entered the delivery room expecting to have my baby by morning. It took a little longer: 13 hours.

My contractions were irregular, so the medical team decided to augment labor with an IV drip. The pain had been manageable before the drip, but I quickly changed my “no epidural” decision once it started. I felt a little ashamed that I hadn’t stuck to my plan, but I reminded myself that you cannot know how you will feel until the moment comes. The epidural helped for a few hours, but then it stopped working, and delivery was still nowhere in sight. The hours that followed were torture. The baby’s head was not in a good position, even though everything had looked fine at every earlier check-up. The doctors kept saying, “Breathe through just one more contraction,” and I knew they were lying.

Thankfully, my husband was with me. He reminded me to breathe, brought me water, and wiped away my sweat. Having him there for moral support helped enormously. I would recommend that everyone bring a trusted support person if they can.

Finally, the doctors decided it was time for the baby to be born because of the risk posed by the long period after my water had broken. The pushing phase began. After what seemed like hours, I heard the little cry that made all of it worthwhile. When they put L. on my chest, I was in something of a daze, and 30 minutes of stitching passed in a blur.

At the Hospital

I was moved to a room and thought I would fall asleep immediately, but I found myself unable to sleep. I was eager to see L. again. After she had been examined and cleaned, they brought her to me. She was hungry! Although I had watched many videos about breastfeeding, it proved more difficult in practice. The baby and I both struggled to find the right position. Every movement caused a burning pain in my wound, and I felt discouraged.

The hospital had baby-friendly status, which meant that L. stayed with me around the clock. I was responsible for comforting her when she cried and changing her diaper. At first, I was completely lost. I was terrified of picking her up because she looked so fragile, and I was still a little weak after labor.

Changing her diaper seemed scary, too; those tiny outfits are so hard to put on! Thankfully, the nurses knew exactly how to help and were available whenever I needed them. I called them frequently. After a day or two, things improved. I was still tired and afraid, but I began to adapt to the baby’s rhythm.

The one thing I could not do was sleep. During my five days in the hospital, I slept for only a few hours in total. I was constantly on edge and afraid for the baby. When I closed my eyes, I felt strange shivers through my body and would wake from a light sleep shouting in panic. I did some research and learned about postpartum anxiety, which can occur alongside or independently of postpartum depression. Thankfully, my symptoms began to ease when I came home. Many new mothers struggle with similar symptoms in silence because they think this is simply how they are supposed to feel or worry about what others will think. Anxiety after childbirth is treatable, so please tell a healthcare professional if you are struggling rather than trying to manage it alone.

L. developed jaundice, so we had to stay in the hospital longer than usual. Even though I knew the condition was common and usually harmless, it was a frightening experience. Finally, after five days in the hospital, we got the green light to go home. The adventure had just begun!

The First Week at Home

Then it is finally time to bring your newborn home. You are ready for this. After all, you have been preparing for the past nine months. You should be ready… You technically know what to do. Then everything goes out the window. You soon discover that the little bed, toys, gadgets, sounds, and lights you prepared do not help very much. Like every person, the newest member of your household has a mind of her own. Your newborn may not like the things you were sure she would enjoy.

We had two cribs, toys that made sounds and lit up, and rattles for newborns. How often did we use them? Never! In my experience, all a baby cares about during the first month is eating, sleeping, pooping, and crying. Oh boy, the crying… But we will get to that in a moment. Do not feel bad if things do not go as planned; try to find what works for your baby. You will be the happiest person in the world when your little one is asleep, and your own sleep will become very precious.

I must admit that the first week with a baby was challenging, especially when she started crying and I had done everything in my power but could not make her stop. You can feel incompetent, frustrated, angry, and helpless because you simply do not know what else to do.

But please do not be frightened: it gets a little easier each day. The crying does not disappear, but you become better able to cope with it. You soon learn that crying does not mean you are a terrible parent. It is one of the ways your baby communicates, and over time you become better at noticing patterns and possible causes. We will return to this when we discuss baby colic.

I think every first-time parent who survives the first week at home with a newborn deserves some kind of achievement or medal because the change is so drastic. The lack of sleep, new responsibilities, and loss of free time can take a real toll. There is no sugarcoating it. By the second week, things may begin to feel more manageable. At the very least, you start adapting to this new way of life and appreciating the beautiful moments even more.

Baby Colic (Infantile Colic)

Colic is hard; I will be completely honest. But first, what is it? The exact cause is unknown. Whatever the reason, it can keep you up at night and make you question everything you think you know.

Colic describes frequent, prolonged crying in an otherwise healthy baby when there is no obvious cause. One commonly used guide is crying for more than three hours a day, more than three days a week, for at least one week. It can begin when a baby is a few weeks old and usually improves by three or four months. Because there are many reasons a baby may cry, contact a healthcare professional if you are worried or unsure whether it is colic. The NHS colic guide explains the symptoms, soothing techniques, and signs that need prompt medical attention.

We were among the “lucky” ones whose baby developed colic almost immediately. When you experience it for the first time, you discover the true meaning of stress. Is she hungry? No, she does not want to eat. Too hot or cold? No. Dirty diaper? Nope. Too much stimulation? Too little? Nope! Whatever you try, she simply will not stop crying. You think something must be wrong, but nothing you do seems to help. The first time it happens, you really want to pull your hair out. For the next few days, you feel a cold sweat run down your spine as evening approaches. With each new day, however, you gain experience and learn new strategies. You also get to know your baby better—what she likes and dislikes, at least at that particular moment.

After five weeks, we were still facing colic every second or third day, but the episodes had become much shorter because we knew what helped calm our little one. There are many tips for soothing a baby with colic, but not every approach will work for every child. We found two strategies that helped soothe our little girl:

• Breastfeeding and comfort sucking—The first strategy that worked for us was good old breastfeeding. Much of the time, our baby was not actually feeding; the sucking itself seemed to soothe her.
• Walking while holding the baby—The second strategy also worked well for us. I think the muscle mass in my arms and legs nearly doubled during those five weeks because I spent countless hours walking up and down the apartment with my little girl in my arms. Most of the time, it worked like a charm. Regular walking was not enough, though, so I developed a special, very straight and rigid walk, with a gentle bounce that our little one seemed to enjoy.

Other approaches that may be worth trying include:

• White noise—Some people swear by white noise because it can mask other sounds and may help soothe a baby. It did not do much for us, it just made us feel crazier, but an occasional “Shhh…” had a short-term effect.

• Swaddling—A snug wrap helps soothe some babies. Always place a swaddled baby on their back, keep the wrap loose enough for their hips to bend and move, avoid weighted swaddles, and stop as soon as the baby shows signs of trying to roll.
• Holding the baby on their side or tummy—These positions may help soothe a baby while they are awake and securely held by an attentive adult. For every sleep, always place the baby on their back in their own clear, firm, flat sleep space. Although these positions did not help during our baby’s colic episodes, they sometimes helped during her usual restless periods.

If you do not have parenting experience, you may now be thinking, “This sounds terrible. As if I do not already have enough stress in my life, a baby will bring even more!” But if you are a seasoned parent, you already know how quickly those hardships can fade from memory.

When you see that little face and hug your bundle of joy, you feel immense contentment. Watching your child grow and learn new things every day fills your heart with happiness, and those positive feelings greatly outweigh the hardships. Knowing that your baby, who is completely dependent on you, is thriving and growing (and still alive) makes you feel so capable. If you can succeed at this job, you feel as though there is nothing in the world you cannot handle!

As the first month ends, some parents describe a fussy or clingy period around week five. Our developmental leaps chart explains that commonly described timeline while keeping it separate from medical concerns that belong with your pediatrician. If you have already experienced all the joys of the first month, read about what the second month may bring. You can also learn more about what to expect as your child develops.